Burnt bangers!!!



I like reading peoples rants and observation stories. Heres one from dave " Smoggie" Grayson direct from the NPF.

Nnce again the sunshine months are upon us where the blokes hold their breath for record breaking lengths of time in an attempt to disguise the effects of the winter food fest and the women are walking around in tight arsed shorts or skirts riding right up to the bike rack and so the nation is smiling a whole lot more.

ELO are belting out Mr Blue Sky on the radio and the whole housing estate seems to be having a barby at the same time ensuring the hole in the ozone layer gets a little bigger so the sun will shine again tomorrow keeping the nation buzzing with the thought of yet another day in the garden.
Then along comes the television production companies and completely bollocks the whole of the bloody summer by churning out big fucking brother 27000 and the twats on 2 channels so you really have to be cute and learn a strategy to avoid the bb flood when alternating your viewing and then what happens, just when you thought you had it cracked they put another one in your way, big brothers cousins uncles illegitimate sons aunties little fucking brother.

So now the nation is gripped by this mindless moronic excuse for a TV show, all we are to read in the news for the next three months are sordid secrets about every fucker in the twatting place.
Poor Frank who had a loving girlfriend when she entered the house has only just found out she's a trannie with a 12 inch dick.
If this isnt bad enough we then have to sit through hours of tossing silence cause the bastards are sayin something they arent supposed to and then to top it all off they show the fuckers sleeping and would you believe it some sad bastards watch it.
Just when you seem to have gotten the BB flood under control and you have mastered the art of channel hopping, the enemy strikes a crucial blow to your resistance and fires a 5 month stretch of fucking X Factor at us, 5 months to decide which of the talentless bastards is going to have a Christmas single then disappear into oblivion whilst costing the nations dumb housewives millions in text messages voting for the little one cause he's cute and sings fucking Frank Sinatra songs, "give me stength" .
Rumour has it the next winner of the X factor is going to get the honours of murdering the national anthem at the FA cup final 2011. what is this all about?

Ninety thousand pie eating beer guzzling football fanatics packed inside a stadium and they give them fucking karaoke singers doing abide with me and the national anthem, where has the pride and tradition gone from our beautiful game, what was wrong with Ed Stewpot Stewart doing the pre match warm up, we want football not pissing Michael Ball. and whats happenned to Cup Final its a knockout? no more do we see the cameras at the teams hotel and on the bus to Wembley, instead we get Alan "scarface" Hansen chewing the fat with cheese n onion Lineker and Mark (im not gay really) Lawrenson not forgetting Mr Personality Shearer telling us he thinks either side could win.
There is one thing that hasn't changed through all the years gone by, the good old barby burnt bangers and a crate of beer so my friends all is not lost get in the garden and get pissed and stay away from the telly.........

1 comments:

Poolcue Poker said...

I take it you are not a fan of TV reality shows then