Oh Shit!!!!



Alrit Stumpy here!

Played the £75 Circus game on Saturday, not many hands to talk about.

Had AA on the button when I needed to double up, did standard raise and big blind says mmm button steal, I call, Flop Qxx, he checks I bet 2k leaving 3.5k behind and he says allin I call and he shows k9 for a really bad bluff.

When its down to 15 left Im a short stack with 13k when i get KK,KK and QQ in about the next 5 hands, got a caller on the 2 KK hands low flop and I ship allin and take them down and upto 30K and now sitting comfy 2 make the FT, At the FT someone mentions if we do a deal now it will be £530 each and was suprised when it was discussed seriously as one of the SS I said nothing so we played on for nearly 2 hrs and there was still 10 left, then the deal was mentioned again. The CL Andy Wilson got £750 and the rest £500 which was a gift to me as I only had 29k, the blinds were 2k-4k never thought Id be involved in a 10 way deal!!!!



As u might know Im a train driver and like my kebabs so when Im at work most places I go to Im drawn to the kebab shops.

Last year the day before my holidays I get a kebab from Carlisle with chilli sauce,(i love the chilli sauce but it sometimes goes through me as bit too fast) so I set off for Newcastle after enjoying my kebab,Iim halfway to Haltwhistle when the pains start OH NO I need the toilet but as a gambler I thought I bet I can make it to Haltwhistle. I see the station lights in the distance, Im really sweating and its going to be a close run thing just as I arrive at the station I think YES Ive made it. I jump up open the cab door just in time to see someone enter the toilet. Now I PANIC jump off the train Its too late I SHIT my pants!
Back on the train and into the toilet which is now empty. I drop my pants and my first thought was fuck me it looks like a Greggs cornish pasty so its straight into the toilet with my underpants and clean myself up as best I can, then I have the problem will I flush or not? as it just empties straight on to the track and the thought of seeing my underpants everytime I pass through Haltwhistle wasnt appealing so I dont flush and pray for forgiveness off the next passenger who goes in. My journey from Haltwhistle to Newcastle was horrible as the smell kept wafting up my nose and making me wretch.

When I got back I was supposed to do one more job so I rang my bosses and asked if they could get the spare man to do it. They said why? mmm I said personal hygiene problems. EH was the reply, Ah fuck it I shit mesell I said Long pause.................................................................................... then ok get yasell home, Thanks.


Two embarrassing stories but as they say on the NPF News which ones the worst

YOU DECIDE!!??!!

Keep on smiling

STUMPY

7 comments:

TEAMDOBB said...

10 way deal!!! what a load of shite

raging1 said...

the king 9 was shameful and the split......er shit

Dom said...

Nice story!

TeamDobb, i left a msg on yr blog the other day but it didnt go thru obv mate.

I have replied to yr comment on my blog with my stars name-which is dreamfinder.

If u still want the 10 percent please make sure u do the transfer b4 1pm tmrw afternoon as thats when the tournament starts.

Cheers mate,

Dom.

TEAMDOBB said...

transfer done Dom GL

Ridla said...

Lovely as always Stumps..

10 way chop? Pfff!

TEAMDOBB said...

weeeeeeeeee Dom Kay scores for £4k

Yorkshire Pud said...

LMAO! I had a similar accident a few months, resembled a stake bake that had been stood on!